Important Announcement

im moving to tumblr.

i have more friends over there and idk why it just seems easier, and i would like to have a blog thats more personal, where i can use real names and such.

link? outthelabyrinth.tumblr.com follow me if you wish! ill follow back of course.
the content will be more or less the same, i think. im not sure, but i wont be posting on here anymore!

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thanks for everything! i love you guys (:
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,a

Days 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17! phew

so, a lot has been going on with me lately. Babe, i got a job – so i had to go to orientation and sign mountains or paperwork, my birthday is TOMORROW, and i have to kick it up in school so i dont get a warning. and, my friends seem to all at once want to hang out with me! im not complaining, because my life is awesome, im just saying! anyway, on with the show, er, post.

throw your diamonds to the sky and we'll stay gold forever

day 13: a fictional book/a fictional book/ a fictional book

I’m going to go with Paper Towns by John Green. he’s already my favorite author and i haven’t read any of his books! just quotes from them, and i am an unabashed nerdfighter!

day 14: a nonfiction/a nonfiction/a nonfiction

i dont really read these…

day 15: fanfic/fanfic/fanfic

sorry to say i dont really read these either

day 16: song that nearly makes you cry/

A Lack of Color – Death Cab for Cutie

the part “I’m reaching for the phone/to call at 7:03/on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home/but I know its too late/and I should have given you a reason to stay” always gets to me. i can imagine doing the same thing, myself. and thats probably why

day 17: an art piece/an art piece/an art piece

i was going to use the photo i used in a previous post, in another time it seems, when i was lonely and wanted a boyfriend but wasnt sure how to go about getting one, but then i thought of another piece:

this is the Fremont troll in Seattle, Washington. I stillll want to move there, and I want to see this!

anyway, thats it for now. im going to go do whatever to get ready for tomorrow. im going to be turning 17! Babe and Jay have something planned for me, but its a surprise -__- i hate surprises! and i have Babe trying to get me excited for it, and Jay saying that its not going to be much. i dont know what to think! but im going to wear a dress and curl my hair and do my best to look very cute! cause when you look nice then everything else just falls into place haha. so, wish me a happy birthday, ill post on friday or saturday, unless i find some time to do it tomorrow!

xox,a

day 12!

whatever/whatever/whatever

ill give it a rest gushing about my boyfriend. i dont wanna be too crazy and head over heels writing about him. i definitely dont wanna be one of those girls haha. anyway, my birthday is coming up very soon, and im excited. oh, and my junior banquet is this friday, and i dont have a dress. but, i have a week full of plans! i dont wanna back out of my plans with anyone, but i probably will have too. my social life has been on the up and up ever since i started dating Babe, even though they are mostly friends i already had pre-dating. crap, this is starting to veer into talking about him! hmm… im very excited for the summer. one part of me wants this school year to hurry up and end, because i have been so stressed out, but then i have to decide what colleges i want to attend and what i want to do with my life, and the thought of doing that scares me to an unbelievable amount.  the future always scares me. i have maybe a third of a book written, and i know it can be a book, but its hard to find time to write, even though that is the number one thing that im supposed to do. its harder being a writer than i thought! sorry this is short. im tired, i havent eaten dinner, and i didnt do any of my homework -___-

goodnight! xox, a

day ten and eleven!

slept at babes house, couldnt update!

10 year photo/10 year photo/10 year photo

i know its blurry, its a picture i took of a picture thats in my family reunion photo album. and it may be a bit longer than 10 years, but oh well!

recent photo/recent photo/recent photo

this was taken like, last week, in anticipation for this post.

so anyway, my love life is kinda silly. i got hot and heavy with babe yesterday, but only make out, but when i say it was hot i mean it was hot. and even though i havent made out with anyone in over a year and a half, i picked it up again easily. so many things are like riding a bicycle x).

I want to do it. I am completely crazy for him and I’m not afraid to admit it. We’re crazy for each other, and I don’t even bat a lash at the prospect of losing my virginity to him. We’ve known each other for so long, that our relationship is easy. I’m not afraid to talk to him about anything. The only thing is, he wants to wait. Like, months, and I know I may sound slutty, maybe, but I don’t care. I’m going to fall in love with this boy, and, I figure, if the first time hurts, then why wait forever for it? It’s never a big deal for a guy, but it is for a girl? Now, I realize that there are lots of double standards on girls, guys, and sex, but really, I don’t see the point of waiting. I’m going to be with him for a while, I can feel it. With other guys that I’ve “talked” to, the prospect of going out with them and losing my virginity to them made me queasy and I just stopped talking to him. but, Babe is everything I want in a guy.  I’m not ready to do him tomorrow, but say, next month I do. Just because everyone else’s standards say you should wait means that we have to? I would rather make it up as we go along than play by someone else’s rules. I don’t make it easy for him either. Seducing him and turning him on is easier than I thought, especially seeing how it was my first time doing it. Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to settle for making out for now. Hmmph.

xox, a

day nine!

photo of yours/photo of yours/photo of yours

this is my little sister! i love her so so so so much, more than i love anyone else in the world. this was taken last year around halloween. shell be two next month <3

day eight!

angry photo/angry photo/angry photo

i dont actually enjoy these picture ones much. but, ill give it a whirl.

i. hate. dying. i love playing with all my friends (Babe, his best friend/my best guy friend, my other guy friends) but i hate when all of the other people are prestiges and i think that im at level 29 or something. its not fair that i have to fight people that are way too good for my skill level -___-   it drives me bananas when i die a lot!

(in case you were wondering, im better than Babe at COD:MW2, im actually not that bad)

day seven!

happy picture/happy picture/happy picture

this one is actually pretty tough for me. for the most part, i have already posted pictures i like. but one that makes me yearn for adulthood, and love, and just life i guess, is this picture from Seattle. a good book, a stiff drink, and you, my love. what else could you want in the world?

my birthdays coming up in two weeks, and im actually very excited. Babe is going to go shopping with Jay to get me something, and they are going to plan things out. i still dont like that he buys me things sometimes. its kinda weird. i think we both feel that we’ve been dating for a while, because he just buys me things so willingly. not like gifts and stuff, but dinner, drinks and snacks. i have no problem with my mom doing it but for some reason, i get all weird about him doing it. i dont know, but hes awesome. (:

day six!

whatever/whatever/whatever

how quaint that today is the day that i can write about whatever i want? so, ill write about my boyfriend. hes a green eyed, blonde hair cutie that is crazy about me, which is really surprising. i can see myself being with him for a long time. Jay said that it seemed like i dont like him that much, but i really, really do. and i think i will only admit it here, where my friends dont read it. i guess i feel like ill get judged if i act how over the moon i am, if i dont stop smiling like how i want, if i cant keep my hands off of him like how i cant.

its weird, and im trying to tread carefully, since he is my first boyfriend. its kinda scary, jumping into the unknown. i owned being single. i didnt like it but i didnt hate it, and i was happy more than i wasnt. now, i dont know how to act or what to do. i want to jump in feet first but then i want to ease into it.

i feel like i could love him, which is odd. ive been on the fence about love for quite some time, (in a letter i wrote to S, i said “i dont know if i believe in love. god either. but i think that you cant believe in one and not the other. they say god doesnt exist because you cant prove him through science, but you cant prove love through it either. and both have been around forever – a higher power, a ruling power, and love. so why believe in one fairy tale and not the other?) but the urge to say “i love you” is there. its not strong, but its there. isnt it funny that we have only been dating for two days? it feels like longer though, like its been months.

i can imagine myself being out with him in public, holding hands, and finally the urge to tell him gets to be too much for me that i cant even contain myself. then id smack my hand over my mouth in awe. thats totally something i would do.

anyway, i am happy with him. but, im apprehensive about physicality. one of his girlfriends and him had a lot of sex, and that was around freshman year, and then his recent ex gf and him started getting physical early on. i have about zero experience, and i dont know anything about anything. i wish i had a stranger to talk to about sex, someone i can put all my fears into and ask them whatever question i want, so that i can know, and not feel awkward about it. my goal is to wait until after six months to do it with him, to lose my virginity, and i hope i do. id rather us be dating half a year than like, a quarter of a year.

this friday, my friend is having a party and were all going. its going to be great. but, his recent ex gf, and i mean recent, like 3 weeks maybe, will most likely be there. she is pretty sure i broke them up so i could steal him, when that wasnt what happened at all. but, that is what she thinks, and though i dont care, she likes drama and the likelihood of her starting some is pretty high. doesnt matter though, because one of my new good friends will be there to back me up or get me out of there. im not one for confrontation, like at all, but i do have a razor tongue and i will cut you.

anyway, thats what tickles my fancy. life is good. <3

xoxo,a

day five!

favorite quote/favorite quote/favorite quote

-But if you tame me, my life will be filled with sunshine. I’ll know the sound of footsteps that will be different from all the rest.

the quote is from The Little Prince which i said was my favorite book yesterday. to me, if i am to believe in love, then this quote is the core of love. i imagine that the character saying this (which is a snake wishing to be the Little Prince’s pet), is me. The need to belong to someone else, to be happy when someone you know is coming for you, to be tended to, for some reason that feels like me.

oh, i have a boyfriend now. and theres a lot i want to say about it, but i will probably wait until after this activity is done, since i barely have time to do this! but i am very happy, very busy, and loving life.

xoxo,a

day four!

Hands down, The Little Prince is my favorite book. its short, its romantic, its silly, its everything i wish i could write. if i could write a book that appeals to both children and adults, about love, but not the most obvious kind of love, my life would be set. i dont own a copy of the book, but my birthday is coming up soon so i will probably buy my own. what i would really love is if my not yet bf (ill post about it later) bought me a copy, and put a romantic message inside it. i dont know what it is about this book, but it just makes my heart fill and it makes me the good kind of sad, if that makes sense? anyway, i was going to post a quote from the book with this but the quote also happens to be my all time favorite, and i believe one of the upcoming days is a fav quote. so anyway, life is good.

xoxo,a